Am I taking it back?

10:30 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Have you ever had that person or two you just couldn't seem to forgive and move beyond?
After a lengthy discussion with a friend about how hard it is to get over being hurt sometimes, I got to thinking about a site online (sorry it was so long ago that I don't remember where) about forgiving.
I have found that wise women of faith out there are right on track about forgiveness. At times when I have felt hurt, especially by family as we can't choose them, I have chosen to follow their directions on how to forgive. I can honestly say that praying for the person that you feel has hurt or betrayed you, and not that they will be smote down lol, but for blessings to be heaped upon them and that they will feel loved, and that you can forgive and forget, really heals those painful wounds.
So, what does it mean when someone you have been praying you could forgive, that you have been praying for mounds of blessings and peace for, still weighs on your mind?
Surely it is NOT God for He knows exactly what He is doing? So I began to wonder if maybe I am taking it back. Not out loud but unconsciously in my head.
Maybe the problem lies solely with my inability to mean it with some people. Maybe I am going through the motions with the best intentions but in my heart and mind I don't really want to forgive yet.
I had not thought about this article in such a long time and while complaining about why I can't let go of some hurt that just seems forever attached to me, it suddenly popped back up in my brain.
Maybe I am just plain taking it back.
Instantly as I thought about it, I realized, that is probably exactly what it is. Why do I think that? Because as quickly as the idea hit me, the negative thoughts began to set in. "I prayed about it already." "I don't want to beat a dead horse with God." "I have been obedient and done my part, I prayed for them, I wished blessings on them, maybe it's not to be."
But as fast as those thoughts came, I knew it wasn't true. I knew, and know the problem is me.
So guess what, here goes another round and included in it will be prayers for me to get over myself and for some insight to recognize if and when I am taking it back. More repentance incoming. Sigh.

0 comments:

Am I taking it back?

10:30 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Have you ever had that person or two you just couldn't seem to forgive and move beyond?
After a lengthy discussion with a friend about how hard it is to get over being hurt sometimes, I got to thinking about a site online (sorry it was so long ago that I don't remember where) about forgiving.
I have found that wise women of faith out there are right on track about forgiveness. At times when I have felt hurt, especially by family as we can't choose them, I have chosen to follow their directions on how to forgive. I can honestly say that praying for the person that you feel has hurt or betrayed you, and not that they will be smote down lol, but for blessings to be heaped upon them and that they will feel loved, and that you can forgive and forget, really heals those painful wounds.
So, what does it mean when someone you have been praying you could forgive, that you have been praying for mounds of blessings and peace for, still weighs on your mind?
Surely it is NOT God for He knows exactly what He is doing? So I began to wonder if maybe I am taking it back. Not out loud but unconsciously in my head.
Maybe the problem lies solely with my inability to mean it with some people. Maybe I am going through the motions with the best intentions but in my heart and mind I don't really want to forgive yet.
I had not thought about this article in such a long time and while complaining about why I can't let go of some hurt that just seems forever attached to me, it suddenly popped back up in my brain.
Maybe I am just plain taking it back.
Instantly as I thought about it, I realized, that is probably exactly what it is. Why do I think that? Because as quickly as the idea hit me, the negative thoughts began to set in. "I prayed about it already." "I don't want to beat a dead horse with God." "I have been obedient and done my part, I prayed for them, I wished blessings on them, maybe it's not to be."
But as fast as those thoughts came, I knew it wasn't true. I knew, and know the problem is me.
So guess what, here goes another round and included in it will be prayers for me to get over myself and for some insight to recognize if and when I am taking it back. More repentance incoming. Sigh.

0 comments: